Like the seasons of weather life too has its seasons. Some people stay in certain seasons longer than others and some never experience seasons that others do. Life is an unpredictable whirlwind of changes.
A little over 1 year ago I accepted a job at a local paper shredding company as their office manager. Only thing is I wasn’t managing anyone but myself but I liked the fact that I was given the responsibility to manage myself and my own work. I was comfortable and the thought of “more” never crossed my mind. On the morning of August 8th I was brought into a meeting with my boss & two other people where I was told that the company had been sold and me & my job was not being retained with the new company. Everything went silent. I was mad, upset, hurt, livid, scared, everything I could feel in one moment, I was feeling. My boss sat there across from me looking like a kicked dog while these strangers started talking about stay on bonuses and contracts while all I could think of was how betrayed I felt. I numbly signed the stay on agreement and went to the bathroom to cry even though the stranger lady insisted on following me to make sure I was ok. She was little to no help. I just wanted to be left alone. After everyone cleared out of the office I text my husband, I was so mad that I thought to opt out of the stay on agreement and just leave and never look back but my husband, who is usually not calm when it comes to things that hurt me, was surprisingly level-headed in his response. “Just breathe. It’s going to be ok, God has a plan and everything will workout and be fine.” I stared at the text message and my blood boiled even more. I wanted him to be angry. I wanted him to feel like I felt. But that’s not what I got and now, a month later, I understand.
In a short period of time I will end my chapter here at my current job and leave with a couple of friends that have really had an effect on my life. One co-worker reminds me of why I don’t miss high school, he’s cocky and thinks he’s the world’s best at everything (just like all the preppy boys in high school lol) & the other, he’s like the brother I never really wanted. He still has a lot of growing up to do but thinks he’s got it all figured out. And my boss. He’s not just been my boss the last year and few months, he’s been my friend. He helped me cope with the move after the wedding, he was my husband’s biggest cheerleader when I was so angry about buying a car I didn’t like and I’ve grown fond of his little girl and his precious new born son. That’s how life works. God sends you people for reason, even if it’s only for a season.
As I’ve questioned my next steps, soooo many times over the last few weeks I have finally realized that it’s time for me to stop worrying and just trust God. He has a plan and a place for me and I just need to wait on Him. The realization hit me when we were sitting in a church service and my Pastor said “Even if He doesn’t give you the answer you wanted, is He still not good?” That hit me like a ton of bricks because here I was wondering why me, why did this have to happen, how could God to this to me now and I completely missed everything else that I have been blessed with. I missed that Matt and I have a wonderful life, we’ve got a great family and support system, we want for nothing, and most importantly I forgot that God always provides for His children.
One of the things I’m guilty of when tough times hit is I question “why”. Why did God let this happen? Why is God doing this? Why is God punishing me? I never stop and let me first thought be..”Ok, what does God have in store next?” Because that’s the MAIN question. Just because your life season changes doesn’t mean that it’s a bad thing AND if you go through a rough season oh well, praise God through the storm and prepare your heart for what’s next!
It’s amazing how being told that I’m losing my job out of the blue has taught me this….Even God’s no’s are covered in goodness!
In the past month I’ve went from being so mad I couldn’t see straight to hurt and depressed to living in a place of utter peace and contentment and that came from no one but God. The whole time I was mad my husband was my cheerleader like “You know God has a plan, something great can come from this you just can’t let yourself get down about it.” And I just kept saying “Let me be mad, I deserve to be mad.” But what I missed was the blessing. The blessing of a new beginning, an new opportunity.
In the past month I’ve been to 4 different interviews, all which I knew I could do the job that I was going for but never leaving with the peace that I wanted that job. God used those interviews to help show me what I didn’t want and what I could do. Last week I got a phone call from a place that had saw my resume on a job posting site and called to set up an interview with me. I had never even heard of the place and I didn’t apply for the position but they thought I was a match and wanted to meet me. I explained that I didn’t want to waste their time if they were looking for someone for immediate hire because due to my agreement with my current job I wasn’t available right away, she was totally understanding and still wanted to set up an interview. So I went, and just during the interview I felt like I had known the three people in the room with me forever. It was like an automatic connection. I left with confidence and a positive feel from the interview. I told my husband “I’d like to work there.” which wasn’t something I had said about the other 4 places I had interviewed. I left the interview and went on about my day, I was sick as a dog through the interview and everything so ended up cutting my day short and going home and going to bed. While I was sleeping the place I had interviewed called me to talk, I called her back on her cell phone as requested, she said that the job they had originally brought me in for wasn’t the job they wanted to give me they felt it was “too basic for my skill set” and they offered me a different position. A wave of peace and excitement came over me as I accepted the position and continued to talk to her about details of what she needed from me prior to my starting there. I thanked her again and ended the call and went in to the bedroom where my husband still was and told him with a huge smile on my face that I had gotten the job and they were ok with my needed start date. He smiled, “See, you worried for nothing.” He was right.
In the past week or so I’ve been praying that God would just help me to see the good in where I was and trust His timing. And in the past week I’ve never felt more content with the season of life I’m in. God knows what is best. I finally see that. I finally see that no matter what season of life I’m in I just need to trust Him and be patient because He’s got this and He’s got me.