Loving A Man Who Is Nothing Like Me

“They didn’t agree on much, in fact they didn’t agree on anything. They fought all the time and challenged each other every day. But despite all their differences, they had one important thing in common…they were crazy about each other.” -The Notebook

I love the Notebook, book and movie, for so many reasons but one main reason that it sticks with me is because it is an almost perfect representation of mine and Matt’s relationship.

Matt and I are not from “different worlds” as some people say, but we are different people in the sense that we like different things, a majority of the time. He’s outdoors, hiking, gardening, jazz music, old school country music, guitarist, and drawing. I’m indoors, watching sports, country music, crocheting, and reading as far as interest goes. And some times he wants to do things that I could care nothing about and other times I want to do things that he cares nothing about. But since we love each other it works.

For example; a few weeks ago some of our friends invited us to Max Patch for a hike and a day out in nature. Nature really isn’t my thing, I’m out of shape due to bad knees, I loathe bugs and hate to be hot. But I knew Matt wanted to go and it was supposed to be a nice day so we went. We went because you make small sacrifices for the ones you love and even though I wasn’t interested in it at the beginning of it all by the time we made it to the top and saw the view I was breathless at God’s beauty and glad that I chose to go and I knew that it made Matt happy to spend the afternoon in the outdoors, plus it didn’t hurt that we got to spend the afternoon with some great friends.

But there’s also things that he does for me that he’s not entirely in to. Like football and basketball. My nephew plays football and Matt loves going and watching him because it’s live action, we’re in the stands, cheering and it’s just fun. But Matt isn’t a big fan of watching sports on television, however, come NFL season & college basketball season he sacrifices time he’d rather be doing something else to watch the games I want to watch with me, granted he plays games on his phone or tablet while doing it but at least he’s sitting there with me and not complaining.

He goes shopping for clothes and shoes with me and I go into stores like REI and Workshop Tools for him. It’s who we are, it’s what we do. If we were the same on everything I feel like our relationship would get really boring and end up failing.

We agree on the important things like our Faith, our relationship with Jesus Christ is and always will be #1, our relationship is ours (no one else’s), we’re not voting for Trump or Hillary (lol, had to throw a funny in there, but no seriously we’re not voting for either one of them), saving money is important to us, when we say our vows we are married til the end-regardless of what might come our way we’ll fight through it together, and honesty and loyalty are 2 of the most important things.

And to me, that is what matters. I could care less if he liked every single movie or every single sports team that I like. And he could care less if I liked to camp or hike. The thing that matters is I know he’s gonna sit beside me on the couch and watch football or whatever chick flick I pick out and we’re going to spend time together, and he knows that if he wanted to go hiking or camping, I’d go. We have these discussions and we’re in the know about each other’s feelings on certain topics. And that’s all the matters. It doesn’t matter if an outsider says, “Well you two couldn’t be more opposite.” or, “Well how can you do anything when you two don’t like the same things.”

Yes we’re opposites but we agree that we wouldn’t want to be with anyone else and we’ve prayed about God’s will for us and that’s what really matters. The saying “Opposites Attract” could not be more true when it comes to our relationship. But Matt is my person, he’s the one that I can count on no matter what. Whether it be to listen, hold me when I cry or talk through some things and I’m that for him and that is what matters. Some times in a relationship when 2 people are the same there’s too much of the same emotions and it gets dull or there’s no communication. I get that when Matt is upset, he doesn’t like to talk about it and he’s not much of a crier, I know to just give him time and space. When I’m upset, I cry, he gets that and comforts me. Sometimes he wants to sit and do nothing but play on our tablets or phones, some times he wants to go outside and work in the garden or a hike, I’m ok with that. Some times I want to watch chick flicks and crochet, he gets it and will sit there and watch me crochet and completely ignore the movie, it’s one of my favorite things to do.

Regardless of how it looks to someone who is on the outside looking in, our love is real to each other. We give each other exactly what one another needs and THAT is what is important and THAT is why it is easy to love Matt even though on a majority he’s nothing like me.

“We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day.” -The Notebook


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