So this week has been an unusual rough week for me..like I haven’t had a week like this week in a LONG time. My nephew, who is 12, was called the “N word” at school & things haven’t been so smooth at my job, so needless to say I feel like I’m drowning in negativity & just all around bad stuff. The worst part is..I let it effect me..bad! If you know me usually I’m upbeat, happy go lucky, rainbows & sunshine ok? But this week my attitude was in the slumps so bad my fiance, who never has anything bad to say about me, called me out on it.😮 Even worse, I didn’t know how to pull myself out of it, like I was oblivious to the fact that I had let the negatives around me bring me down. & it didn’t hit me until tonight at our revival service @ church exactly what I had done..I had let the devil make me feel defeated. I had let the devil steal my joy through the situation with my nephew at his school & my situation at work. & all the sudden I thought, “God, I’m sorry.” because I have been selfish this week. I put myself and my circumstances first. I put ME on the throne & let my light for the Lord dim out & that’s not how a Christian should live..that’s not how I want to live!
Isaiah 41:10 says, “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for Iam thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”…this week I let the negatives blind me of who my Father is & all I had to do was call on Him to either calm the storm or strengthen me while the storm raged. I forgot that He is the master of the sea..I forgot He is ALWAYS with me. I let the negatives break me. I lived in fear and stress that my nephew was going to be broken by his situation, I lived in fear & stress that my work situation was never going to get better.
But it hit me during a song the group that sang tonight was singing..”There’s never a day He doesn’t give me all I need,
And when I wake up to the storm, my soul cries peace. Sometimes I try to count them, they’re too many I confess.
So with arms upraised I just say “still blessed.” The words in that chorus have never been more true because there is never a day He doesn’t give me all I need & even in the midst of the worst storms I know He is with me, even if I slip & panic it’s not worth the stress because He is there..all I have to do is remind myself of that. I am a child of the King. He is a friend like no other & He has a plan for me & everything that comes my way is for a purpose I just have to trust Him. & tonight I let Him have it..everything that I’ve carried around all week because He will take care of me..I said it tonight, yes this week has been a rough week & I’ve never felt so bullied but I’ve also never felt so loved on by God! So no matter what comes, bad days, stress filled moments, I will hold my head up & smile because I am still blessed. Blessed beyond measures!